Parlour games with your horse…

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On these cold, wet, snowy nights, it is often desirable to stay in by the fire and play games rather than venture out into the cold.

Some of you may remember the card game ‘Top Trumps’? If you do then i would advise that you NEVER play this game with your horse, instead stick to Chess.

Horses are very underrated but very smart, just take a look…

Humans have pretty good hearing, we have three muscles in each ear and can hear in a 5 degree arc.

The horse however has 16 muscles in each ear and can swivel them in 360 degrees and fold them down if it doesn’t want to hear what you are saying, it gives new meaning to the phrase ‘I can’t hear you’!

Human Eyesight allows us to see in colour, and if lucky we have 20/20 vision.

Horses on the other hand have much bigger eyes (2 inches), can see in a 350 degree arc, can see in colour as well (though less range). However, Horses win because they can see in the dark without a torch.

Our sense of smell is ok, we can pick out strong scents like food cooking, or bad smells like someone breaking wind, but can you smell water?? Your horse can.

We humans grow our adult teeth from around eight years old. They are pretty good but if we don’t keep them clean we will be forced to puree our meals and suck them through a straw (as I keep reminding my daughter). Horse’s teeth keep growing till they get old, The vast majority of horses have more of their own teeth than me, so they certainly beat me on this one!

Humans can run at up to 23 mph, horses can do over 40mph, Humans can run for longer periods its true, but a horse can run extremely fast whilst carrying a human, but humans are really bad at running whilst carrying a horse, even a small one!

Most Humans can feel an earthquake, or a bee sting, but struggle with mosquitos till they are already blotchy. And most defensive manoeuvres involve hitting ourselves repeatedly whilst constantly missing our intended targets or simply running around screaming, which isn’t a vast amount of use to anyone else.

The Horse can feel a fly before it lands, and is smart enough to partner up with friends to keep the pesky critters at bay, sense an earthquake before it happens and know which direction to run, They can choose the best blade of grass using their lips then pick it from the others without using their hooves, try that next time you go walking in a field!

Oh, and whilst the female of the human species can indeed multitask (men apparently struggle), both mares and stallions can poo and walk at the same time, poo and eat, poo and converse, poo and groom, in fact multitasking is simple for the horse.

Your horse wins every time when it comes to a challenge. At least you stand a chance with chess, not because we humans are smarter than horses, its merely that horses have more difficulty moving the pieces given they lack opposable digits, so before they win they are more likely to knock the table over, and I believe in chess that counts as a forfeit?

Humans always get to choose the game, sadly even then we often loose…